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25 March 2007 @ 04:20 pm
what web hosting companies have a sense of humor? an experiment.  

At work we’re going to be signing up a bunch of people for hosting and I’ve been looking around trying to see who has the best features, best support, oh and the best affiliate payout ;)

I found about 15 different hosting companies and on wednesday afternoon i all sent them the same email:

hello my name is jamie martin, i’m considering switching my hosting over to you but before i do i’d like to know what your favorite joke is?

i like to surround myself with people who understand the importance of a sense of humor, plus it gives a face to the company behind it. aristotle once said

“Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.”

Does your host bear raillery? Does your host even answer to email? Does your host know how to spell? Let’s find out! Listed below is their responses in the order recieved.

I’m only going to give my feedback on the responses themselves..

I think it’s up to you to research the features of each host, etc. :)

Starting off!

#1 - iPower Hosting- this was the first response i got and it doesn’t really count. they didn’t address my question whatsoever and was a canned message about how “great” their hosting is. i hate canned answers, LAME MOVE IPOWERHOSTING. ;p

#2 - Simplehost

Hello,

Thank you for your interest in Simplehost. That’s an interesting question. Here’s one of my favorites…
Why did the blonde have bruises around her belly button?

Because blonde guys are dumb too.
Are there any technical questions I can answer for you? Any specific needs for your site? If you have any further questions, please reply to this message.

Thank you;

Wow Simplehost, pretty racy there! Better not host your church site on simplehost. Hope we didn’t offend any blondes out there, for all they know I could be blonde! ;)

#3 - Host Excellence

Dear Jamie!
Thank you for your word to the support team.

If it is really importannt for you we have many jokes that we like very much.
Here is a conversation that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.
Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”
Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”

Feel free to contact us anytime, we are available 24 hours and 7 days a week.

Respectfully,

I think Host Excellence just opened themselves up for their own favorite joke again! Although it was interesting as they provided more of an anecdote rather than a joke per-say. I really like how they mention the importantness of it though.


#4 - HostGator

Hello Jamie,

To be honest, I’m trying to think of a joke, but the pressure has caused my mind to go blank!

Is there a different question, maybe something more hosting-related, we can answer to help determine if we will meet your hosting needs?

Have a great day!

Lame! Rough move, HostGator.. although the response time was fast and nice enough this isn’t as fearless as the name HostGator implies. ;) — Gotta give them credit for the cute mascot though. :p


#5 - HostMonster

Hello,

A horse walks into the bar the bartender says why the long face. (snare drum’s going off)

Thanks,

Wam, bam, thank you m’am! HostMonster likes things short and sweet, plus bonus points for the use use of onomatopoeia. I think today’s hosting world needs more of it. Well except for crashing, we can do without that..


#6 - ServerPronto

Here is one of my personal chosing:
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the
office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he opened the door a
truck came roaring past and completely tore off the driver’s door of the
Lexus. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911.
When a policeman arrived, the lawyer was still screaming hysterically.
His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now
completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body
shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust. “I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are”, he said. “You are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else.” “How can you say such a thing?” asked the lawyer. The cop replied, “Didn’t you notice that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you.”
The lawyer looked down to his left side and let
out a terrible scream: “Oh my God!!! … MY ROLEX!”

:)

When placing the order, add {Code Removed} into your comments box so i can process you order right away.

Thank you

ServerPronto gets the award for the most effort put into the question, and not a bad joke so far- Glad to see a company that will take time out of its busy day to talk to its customers casually - i don’t think they’ll be hosting many lawyers anytime soon though. ;) — If I needed a dedicated server I’d go with them pretty quick.


#7 - An Hosting

two hosting company’s walk in to crash bar… midphase ducks

How am I doing? Please contact my manager at {Email-Removed} with your feedback!

This was the shortest answer recieved, but I think the only joke where they went ahead and inserted their own company into the joke. (Note: Midphase and An Hosting are the same company, Midphase must handle their support)

More funny than their joke is their banners revolve around this one cute blond chick who you’ll see here:

They have her with several different expressions, faces but there’s one of the banners that just sticks out:


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HER?!

phew.

when i first saw that i thought $6.95 per monday? that’s expensive!

anyway.. moving on..

#8 - {This One has been Removed at the request of the Hosting Company}

#9 - OneWebHosting

Hi Jamie,

This is not our companie’s official favorite joke, just mine and it’s probably not that funny:

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I think I’m coming down with something!

Please let us know if you have any other questions, we would be happy to help.

Best Regards,

I enjoy how “official” each response is, and how several have mentioned how it’s not the company’s “official” joke, i think it would be awesome if a company did, if it was somewhere in their TOS or something. Or if the CEO heard somebody was telling jokes other than the “official” joke, he’d get mad or something? Does your company have an official joke? ..Yet? ;)


#10 - A canned response from PowWeb not even addressing my question/a joke just talking about how great they are. Grrrrr.

#11 - DreamHost

Hi Jamie,

Choosing a favorite joke is quite a task. Especially in an office of
like 50 plus people. Trust me, I took a couple hours and tried to get a
consensus and nobody could agree on a good one to send you. If you want
to get an idea of our sense of humor, it’s probably best if you take a
look at the web hosting haiku that a bunch of us worked on a couple
months back:

http://blog.dreamhost.com/2007/01/12/web-hosting-haiku/

Hopefully that gives you some sort of barometer to work with. If any
other questions pop up, please feel free to let me know and I’ll do what
I can to help you out with things. After all, I am here to help, right?

Thanks,

I’ve always really liked DreamHost’s style. They have such a laid-back yet professional kinda California attitude, their blog is always very very informative and their site is spectacular. I’m a bit confused as to how their bandwidth restrictions work (something with CPU usage?) and the signup fee is kinda a bummer, but other than that I see DreamHost as a breath of fresh air in the webhosting world, it might be time to give them a shot. It’s kinda sad I have them on my RSS feed but not my own host.

Haha what Banners!:

No Answer from: EasyCGI, Gate, ValueWeb and HostRocket which leads me to believe that if i’m not worth their time, then they’re not worth mine.

Originally posted to jamiemart.in.
Tags: ,
 
 
 
merilla on March 25th, 2007 11:35 pm (UTC)
This is hilarious, hahaha
I love the haikus. There's just not enough web-hosting related haiku writing going on in the world...
Although the last Dreamhost banner is a bit terrifying. There's something alarming me about the girl with the glasses...
skinnyishot on March 25th, 2007 11:35 pm (UTC)
You sir, are fantastic.
ex_undergro on March 25th, 2007 11:47 pm (UTC)
server pronto gets points for the joke. but dreamhost gets the win for their banners.
ohhoe on March 26th, 2007 12:33 am (UTC)
I use 1and1 and I love it.
shannon_elaine on March 26th, 2007 01:06 am (UTC)
I've been a Dreamhost customer for years and years and I love them.
amylikewhoa on March 26th, 2007 01:31 am (UTC)
haha i think its amazing you did this!
duffey on March 26th, 2007 01:49 am (UTC)
Dreamhost always took care of me when I was with them and they are really awesome.
my_cynical_echo on March 26th, 2007 02:00 am (UTC)
the icon is priceless. probably one of the most bizarre five minutes of television i've ever seen in my entire life.
treno on March 26th, 2007 02:51 am (UTC)
This is really great. I've always loved Dreamhost.
keeleyaurora on March 26th, 2007 04:14 am (UTC)
lol this was a really fun post to read :)
killrockstars on March 26th, 2007 05:11 am (UTC)
Thank you sir.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading that.
que__serasera on March 26th, 2007 08:01 am (UTC)
"I thoroughly enjoyed reading that."

shit that's what i was going to say
cargoesvroom on March 26th, 2007 09:34 am (UTC)
this is why i love you.
cargoesvroom on March 26th, 2007 09:36 am (UTC)
ps, nice icon. my dad's convinced that girl is retarded.
julian_eriksun on March 26th, 2007 03:43 pm (UTC)
Best response- Host Excellence
Worst response- HostGator

And this is definitely one of my favorite posts.

cheers.
hideyourface3 on March 28th, 2007 10:15 pm (UTC)
haha, what a good post! i'd go with #11
uncreative on March 30th, 2007 03:21 am (UTC)
"What do you mean by
“Bittorrent is not allowed?”
I only trade warez
-Jason C"

aww!
pitbrown on November 20th, 2007 05:34 am (UTC)
It's cool man!!!
Really! This test was very interesting. I have couple minutes of laughter! Thank you! I'd like you do such experiments later.
ehostpros on December 17th, 2010 12:44 pm (UTC)
When it comes to cheap web hosting, tricks and hidden fees can weigh heavily on how much you really end up paying for service. To help you avoid some of the most common pitfalls, this article will go over several key points that must be considered when selecting
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